By Mumtaz Hussain
Happiness is our birthright. When we see a small baby we instinctively squeal with delight at his or her first smile. Our natural human instinct is to lean is towards happiness, but as time passes and the increasing pressures of parenting unfold, we can sometimes lose our mojo.
When that happens it can be hard to retain our sense of perspective and we can fall into the habit of negative thinking. This is very common when we are parents, and the job of raising our children has become a thankless task.
No matter what has happened to wipe that smile off your face, you must try to do whatever you can to put it back, and I don’t mean eating another bar of chocolate or having another plate of samosa!
Here’s 15 things you can do today that will bring a smile to your face, if not have you laughing out loud!
1. Avoid negative people.
I don’t really need to expand on this one too much do I? You know who they are, and you know how they make you feel, and you know you need to avoid them. If you can’t avoid them altogether then at least keep them at arms length, and minimise your contact with them.
2. Stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes and smile.
Tell yourself how wonderful you are and that you deserve to be happy. Do this a few times a day, even if it feels silly. This works wonders to lift your spirits!
3. Avoid wearing black clothes, and inject some colour into your wardrobe.
We tend to wear black when we want to make ourselves invisible and blend in with the walls (unless you’re a vampire or Count Dracula?) No but really, wearing brighter colours will cheer you up. Get some pinks to feel more feminine, blue to feel calm and orange to get that spark of creativity flowing!
4. Do some exercise and get some air into those lungs!
We all know that regular activity benefits us enormously, both mentally and physically, even if it’s just for 20 minutes a day. So take a brisk walk, run up and down your stairs a few times, do star jumps during the commercial breaks when you’re watching TV. This will ensure you feel more energised and help you stay trim and fit, which will in turn have a knock-on positive effect on your mood.
5. Put on music that makes you happy, or with lyrics that cheer you up.
Try anything that’s going to put a smile on your face. Dance with your children too! That’s a definite way to ease the tension as well as having fun together as a family!
6. Watch comedy shows, funny movies or go to a comedy night.
Happiness is the aim here and what could be better than laughing? If you watch a funny movie with your children then they will feel a strong sense of belonging which will strengthen family ties, and reduce tension.
7. Decide to be happy.
Habits are formed very easily and if we simply decide to be happy then it will become a habit. Aristotle said “…We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit…” This is fantastic for the children to see and they will learn from you that deciding to be happy brings it’s own rewards.
8. Say yes to your dreams.
All too often we want a better lifestyle, fewer responsibilities, or a slimmer body, but we look at what we have now, which may be a far cry from the ideal life of our dreams, and in our frustration we kill the dream off before it’s even started to develop.
Instead, let the seed of the dream take root, and you will find that in a very short time, things will start happening that will help turn that dream a reality. You might get a great new job offer, or a friend will invite you over for dinner so you don’t have to cook, and this will happen simply because you said yes to your dreams and allowed them to unfold.
Being a happy parent is the best role-model you can be for your child9. Fake it till you make it!
This is one of my personal favourites. It doesn’t mean if I act like a billionaire then I’m necessarily going to become one, but it does mean that my confidence is boosted, I’ll stand taller and feel elevated. All of these are going to make me feel happier, and I’ll give off a happier vibe, and as a result I’ll attract positive experiences and positive people.
Cultivate an internal sense that’s always pointed towards happiness. This is excellent for the children to see. They will pick up on your happy vibe and your home will be a more relaxing place for everyone.
10. Smile!
This is one of the most relaxing things you can do, no matter how stressful your situation. Try smiling at others as well because we all love to be around friendly happy people. Always have a special smile for your children. Feeling loved is crucial for your children’s healthy development in all stages of their lives.
11. Bloom where you’re planted.
3 years ago, I had to move 200 miles away from my friends, my parents and my family and I hated it. My entire support network was gone overnight. I did everything I could to avoid putting roots down in my new home. I kept telling myself it was a temporary move, and that I’d be back before I knew it. And as might be expected, I got more and more miserable.
So I decided to heed my own advice, and try to make the best of it. I joined a gym, I started to socialise more, made lots of new friends and now I know that wherever I find myself geographically, I can be happy mentally. And I am!
12. See the silver lining, because every cloud has one.
When you’re sick and your body isn’t as healthy as it was, use the time convalescing to review your lifestyle, your diet, and fitness routine. This will give you a renewed focus and allow your body to heal from a mentally positive perspective.
If your child has been naughty, use the way you discipline him or her as a means to reconnect with your child. This will reassure your child that you love them, as well as reinforcing the need for boundaries and discipline. Silver linings all around!
13. Believe and have faith in a Higher Power.
Whether that’s God, Allah, a Supreme Being or The Universal Great Lord, trust that your happiness matters to that Higher Power. This will enhance your sense of value, as well as renewing your confidence and allowing you to relax into a happier frame of mind. Someone else has got your back, and you’re always safe. The children will benefit greatly from this.
14. Contribute to the community.
Help others in an area that means something to you. Run the marathon for charity or volunteer at a local charity shop. The beneficial attributes here are self explanatory.
15. Remember tomorrow is another day!
You get another chance to do it all over again, and the best part is you can improve on what you did today, tweak a few things here and there, and relax – it’s never going to be perfect. But you’ve done your best, and that’s all you ever need to do.
This article was originally entitled “10 Things to Make You Happy Today” but the more I wrote, the more things I found that make me happy, and the same will happen for you too. Look for reasons to be happy and you’ll find them. See, there’s number 16!
Disclaimer: Please seek advice from a healthcare professional if you are experiencing extreme bouts of unhappiness or depression. The writer cannot take responsibility for any reliance that is placed on the contents of this article, without the reader doing their own research to accompany it.
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