Children learn to imitate at a very young age. It's how they learn to behave, care for themselves, develop new skills, and communicate with others. From their earliest moments they watch you closely and pattern their own behavior and beliefs after yours. Your examples become permanent images, which will shape their attitudes and actions for the rest of their life.
It's important to be responsible, consistent and loving with your child. This also holds true for the relationship you have with your spouse, your parents, and other family members and friends that are also a part of your child's life. Own up to mistakes when you make them, and communicate open and honestly with all family members.
It's also important to take good care of yourself. When we're focusing on what's best for our child it's easy to neglect our own needs. Your child and your family are counting on you physically and emotionally, so it's imperative that you teach your child by example that taking care of yourself helps you to take care of them and the rest of your family. This shows your child that not only do you love them and the rest of the family, but you love yourself as well. This is an important step in teaching your child about self esteem. This may involve getting a sitter and treating yourself out to dinner and a movie, or doing another favorite activity on your own. This teaches your child that you are not only their parent, but your own person with your interests and needs, and also gives them a chance to show you how well they can do without you with them for a while.
It's also important to nurture your relationship with your spouse. Let your child see you communicate in a positive and healthy manner with one another, and show love and affection for one another so your child can begin to learn early on what a healthy marriage should be like.
You'll soon see your child patterning many of his behaviors after your own. So make sure that what you say and do around your child will help build a strong sense of security and self esteem.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
5 Powerful Parenting Strategies for Developing Respect in Kids
How do you develop respect in kids? If someone gave you 5 powerful strategies, would you use them?
Keef Feeley, a Learning Consultant from Success Feelosophy sent me the following strategies for developing respect in kids. The comments for each strategy are mine.
1. Don’t do too much for your children.
Parents who do for their children, what their children could do for themselves; promote laziness, helplessness, and low self-esteem. Parents need to back off with a good dose of patience because they can do things faster and better than their kids.
We must not give our kids the messages, "Nothing I do is good enough." or "I won't have to do my chores or my homework if I drag my feet."
2. Praise your kid's efforts often.
Kids need to know we respect their efforts. Specific praise using the word 'because' helps them repeat their good behaviors. For example, "I respect how well you concentrated on your homework today because it shows you have a strong mind."
3. Encourage persistence.
When kids try to learn something without giving up, they are persistent. Being persistent helps them respect themselves because persistence leads to success. The good feeling of success encourages persistence in trying other things too.
4. Use discussions to help them reflect on their actions, manage their emotions, understand consequences, and make good decisions.
Use positive discussions on what you noticed they did well. Ask them what they did inside to succeed. This helps them reflect and repeat their good actions.
5. Help them develop an accurate self–assessment of their strengths and weaknesses.
Tell them stories like the "Tortoise and the Hare" to talk about strengths and weaknesses. Point out how everyone is good at something but not everything. Like the tortoise if they keep trying they may not be the best, but they will succeed in the end.
My compliments to Keef Feeley at http://www.successfeelosophy.com for sharing these strategies.
What about you? What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Parenting Daughters: Initiating Puberty Education For Girls
By Kathy Pickus
In the Judy Blume’s book, “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Studies show that children want to hear this information from their parents, even though it might not always appear that they are listening. What are other ways can you help educate your daughter about these transitional steps to womanhood?
With the wealth of information on the internet, it would seem easy to gather a few good websites and just pass the information to your daughter. It is best though if she has you there to help interpret and understand the information.
To make it more personable, share your own memories and experiences from this time in your life. Did you have any embarrassing moments? Where were you when you started your first period? When did you buy your first bra?
Sharing your stories will help your daughter realize that she is not alone in this experience. Asking other female members of your family to share their stories will provide a sense of family togetherness and will give your daughter an idea of “how times have changed”.
A good book on puberty can help initiate that awkward conversationThis is an awkward time for girls. She may be experiencing a growth spurt and outgrowing all her clothes, or having to deal with pimples for the very first time. Offer her positive reinforcement and assurance that this is a normal step in her growing up years and that she is always beautiful to you.
Gathering a group of friends together for a special shopping day or a trip to the drugstore to explore skin care items would be a way to remind your daughter that all her friends are experiencing the same changes.
Remember to keep the lines of communication open and start early. Being open and honest with your daughter when she is in her early years will lay the foundation for the puberty years when she will have lots of questions and concerns.
Try not to have one big talk, instead slip in nuggets of information into normal everyday conversation. And don’t wait for your daughter to initiate the conversation, she may be too embarrassed!
Dishing With Your Daughter – The 7-step recipe to connect with your daughter and guide her toward healthy eating, a strong self-esteem & a positive body image. Girls and women are caught in a cycle that doesn’t allow them the freedom, nourishment and peace. You owe it to yourself – and to your daughter to learn how to feel more at ease and confident in your own body and with food; more aware of the messages she sees and hears and how she internalizes those messages.Healthy Father-Daughter Relationships – The father is the first man a girl loves. Learn how to be the best father you can be with this easy to follow guide that covers nearly everything you need to know about communicating with your daughter, discipline and guidance, academic achievement, drugs and alcohol, dating and sexuality, blended family conflict, dealing with grief and loss, spirituality and major lessons.Speak Teenager – Win back your son or daughter. I wrote this book from a father’s point of view and not from a psychology point of view. My book is straight and to the point in an easy to understand language. This ebook contains everything you need to know in order to make amends with your son or daughter and become their best friend.Creating a Puberty Survival Kit for your Daughter
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Related posts:
Unwanted Teenage Pregnancy: How Parents Can Protect DaughtersParenting Tween Girls: Navigating The Bridge From Childhood To TeenYour Daughter’s First Menstrual Period: How To Tell When It Might Be Coming3 ‘Speak Up’ Tips For Helping Girls Respond to Relational AggressionParenting Daughters: Girl Fighting And Your ChildParenting The Shy Child: 5 Ways To Help Her Make Friends
By Gareth Williams
Most parents like to think of their children as social butterflies – but there are some children who are so overcome with shyness that they’re unable to properly function in social settings.
Take Amy, for example. As a nine-year-old child, she excelled at schoolwork, earning nothing but straight A’s and accolades from her teachers. However, when it came to interacting with her peers and adults, Amy often retreated behind a book, or became so embarrassed at having to answer questions that she would stutter or turn red.
Shyness is often a problem for children who, for some reason or another, find it difficult to interact socially with those around them. Everyone has had bouts of shyness at one point or another; but when it starts interfering with how your child interacts with his or her surroundings then it’s time to make a change.
Want to learn how to help your child cope with shyness? Here are some expert tips that will have your son or daughter overcoming social anxiety in no time!
Parents often forget what it’s like to be young and suffering from shyness, so they’ll often do one of two things – they’ll either talk for their child in order to minimize their suffering, or they’ll put their child in stressful social situations to “shock” them out of shyness.
Don’t make this mistake! Rather, gradually introduce your child to different degrees of social scenarios. Start off with conversation with family then move on until your child is able to hold a conversation with a complete stranger. Don’t accept monosyllable answers as conversation, either!
These days, it seems like cutting computers and video games out of a child’s life is tantamount to cruelty; however, some research suggests that these electronic toys can actually hinder your child’s social development. Limit your child’s online or gaming time and then encourage them to play with friends or siblings.
Often, shyness is escalated when your child expects certain reactions from social situations; for example, your child may so fear embarrassing himself or herself while answering a question in the classroom that he or she won’t raise a hand at all.
If this sounds familiar to you, pretend to be a teacher and ask your child various questions. Once your child realizes that he or she is unlikely to embarrass himself in front of the classroom, he or she will be more willing to contribute.
Is your child unable to properly function in social settings?It can be hard for your child to find common ground with his or her peers when suffering from shyness – so help your child out a little by arranging play dates with other children who share his or her interests.
If your child enjoys reading, sign him or her up with a junior book club; if he or she enjoys playing sports, get your child to sign up for a team. Conversation will flow more readily when your child is surrounded by like-minded children.
Know a few mothers around the block? Enlist their help by arranging play dates with neighborhood children. Having a few friends around the block will get your child out of the house more and interacting with more children his or her age
As you can see, shyness can be easily overcome with love, support and a bit of discipline. Yet if your child suffers from the kind of shyness that actually prevent him or her from functioning as a normal child, ask your child’s school if they offer any counseling services – it may be that your child suffers from social anxiety disorder, which should be treated by a licensed professional.
Turnaround: Cure Your Child’s Anxiety – A professionally developed audio treatment program that teaches your child how to stop anxious thoughts, calm uncomfortable feelings, and use proven strategies to overcome anxiety. Based on the most effective treatment for child anxiety (CBT), Turnaround uses a story to invite your child to join six other anxious children on an imaginary 10-day camping adventure that teaches them how to break free from their fears. It is professional AND very child friendly.Social .Skills For Kids – Does your child struggle with social interaction – and are you secretly worried, unsure how you can help? Learn the best way to empower your child in overcoming social challenges. Has everything you need to know to help your child improve social skills and win friends for life.Self Esteem For Children Today – Awaken self esteem to greater heights. Is today’s modern lifestyle destroying your child’s self-esteem? Discover how you can boost your child’s self-esteem with immediate results that will amaze you and your child.How can I Help my Shy Child? Dr Andie Explores Shyness in Children
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3 Parenting Skills for Self-Esteem, Self-Discipline, and Social Competence
3 Parenting Skills for Self-Esteem, Self-Discipline, and Social Competence - Character Building from KidsDiscuss.comCharacter Building from KidsDiscuss.comblogged
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Powered by FeedBlitzAdd me to your TypePad People listRecent Posts5 Ways Parents Teach Babies to be RespectfulParenting Tips ~ Teaching Kids about Respect with the Teachable Moments5 Powerful Parenting Strategies for Developing Respect in Kids3 Parenting Skills for Self-Esteem, Self-Discipline, and Social CompetenceRespect ~ Expert Interview about How to Teach Kids to Be RespectfulWhat Do Moms & Daughters Want from Each Other Anyway? Respect ~ Parents, Here's Your Prescription for Building a Strong FamilyRespect ~ How Parents Can Be the Change They Want in Their ChildrenRespect Is Strong When Parents Lead ~ An InterviewInterview about Respect ~ How to Know If Your Teenager Has Self RespectRecent CommentsJean Tracy, MSS on Parenting Tips ~ Teaching Kids about Respect with the Teachable MomentsLife by the Lesson on Parenting Tips ~ Teaching Kids about Respect with the Teachable MomentsJean Tracy, MSS on Motivation ~ Parents Can Motivate Kids by Quieting Their Noisy MindsCloe on Motivation ~ Parents Can Motivate Kids by Quieting Their Noisy MindsJean Tracy, MSS on Interview about Respect ~ How to Know If Your Teenager Has Self RespectWorlds Best Information on Interview about Respect ~ How to Know If Your Teenager Has Self RespectJean Tracy, MSS on Respect ~ How Library Books Can Help Parents Value Kidsallan king on Respect ~ How Library Books Can Help Parents Value KidsJean Tracy, MSS on Respect ~ How Successful Parents Teach Kids about Positive, Personal, PowerChild's Behaviour on Respect ~ How Successful Parents Teach Kids about Positive, Personal, Power Twitter Updatesfollow me on Twitter« Respect ~ Expert Interview about How to Teach Kids to Be Respectful |Main| 5 Powerful Parenting Strategies for Developing Respect in Kids »
Jenice Clarke, a colleague, offers 3 parenting skills for building character in your kids. Read on.
3 Parenting Skills for Self-Esteem, Self-Discipline, and Social Competence:
1. Clear instructions
2. Praise
3. Modeling
These 3 parenting skills help communicate respect, build a sense of self, encourage our children to accept responsibility for their actions and build self-discipline. They also build social competence in my kids.
I am confident that research substantiates my claim that children are better able to develop a healthy sense of self and respect, when they are raised with positive discipline.
Jenice says "My blog post on December 15, 2010, '3 Benefits of Using Positive Discipline shows how to enhance a child’s self-worth. I recommend it for parents who are searching for a simple guaranteed method that gives positive results within 30 days of use."
Jenice Clarke
Raising Children with Positive Discipline
http://www.jeniceclarkepositivediscipline.blogspot.com/
What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately send you 10 Beautifully Crafted Love Notes for Your Kids in a separate email.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
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Interview about Respect ~ How to Know If Your Teenager Has Self Respect
How do you know if your teenager has self respect? I interviewed a teen named Paula. Some of her answers surprised me. Maybe they'll surprise you too.
I asked Paula to give 5 endings to the phrase:
1. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Laughing with each other.
J. What do you mean?
P. Laughing with each other shows respect because it shows the teenager likes herself enough to make friends and have fun together.
2. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Caring for their belongings.
J. How does that show self respect?
P. Some kids lose or trash their things and expect their parents to get them new things, like cell phones, computers, or clothes. A teenager who takes care of their belongings shows they have respect for those things. They also show respect for their parents because they won't be asking for replacements. They show self respect because they are being responsible.
3. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Standing up for themselves when they are bullied.
J. How?
P. Teenagers show self respect when they don't listen to bullies who say bad things about them. These teenagers think enough of themselve to know that the bad things said are not true. They'll turn and walk away because they don't let the mean words get to them.
4. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Not caving into pressure from other teenagers just to be liked.
J. What do you mean.
P. This ties it all together. They care about their bodies and choose not to do bad things to it just because others are doing it.
5. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Being close with their familes.
J. How does "close with their families" fit in with self respect?
Other teenagers see that your family influences you more because you respect your family. Because you are a member of your family, it shows that you respect yourself too.
Conclusion for Interview on Self Respect with a Teenager:
I appreciated this interview with Paula because she's headed in a good direction. Paula showed the importantce of self respect in liking yourself, laughing with friends, standing up for yourself, not caving into pressure, and being close with your family. She also tied self respect to taking care of her belongings.
Action Step for You to Take with Your Teen, Tween, or Younger Child:
Ask your children to give you 5 endings to "Kids Show Self Respect by..." Then get them to discuss each answer. You may be surprised.
What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
5 Ways Parents Teach Babies to be Respectful
Parenting Expert, Deborah McNelis, teaches infants respect. No, she doesn't tell them to be respectful. She has a different method. Read on to find out.
It is critically important for parents to realize that to raise a respectful child, it must begin in infancy.
The child needs to have a consistent nurturing relationship to develop a secure attachment. Through this the baby learns the give and take of relationships and begins the process of self-regulation. This early loving interaction is the start to healthy social/emotional development and impacts relationships throughout life. Learn more from Deborah Mc Nelis,owner of BrainInsights at http://www.braininsightsonline.com/
Here are 5 ways Jean suggests ~
5 Parenting Tips on How to Teach Respect to Babies
1. Use a loving voice.
2. Talk to your baby a lot. He needs to hear your words for brain development.
3. Sing songs, recite lullabies
4. Play pat-a-cake
5. Read colorful sturdy books with your baby in your arms.
6. Find time to rock your baby to sleep. Enjoy the feeling.
To teach your baby respect you need to treat him with respect. You're the model. It's your arms he wants to rest in. He needs to be attached to you and feel loved and secure. This is the beginning of respect.
What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 10 Beautifully Crafted Love Notes for Your Kids.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Parenting Tips ~ Teaching Kids about Respect with the Teachable Moments
Would you like to teach your kids about respect using the teachable moment? Imagine being alert at the time things happen instead of months later. Keep reading to find 3 ways for being alert to the teachable moments in your child's life.
Teachable moments are events that happen right before your eyes and the eyes of your child. They are teachable because they are so fresh and can make a positive impact on your child's learning.
This tip on teaching respect with teachable moments comes from Nita Talwar, a certified parenting coach. Nita says,
"I believe in the importance of the teachable moment.' When you observe something or see an act that you believe can 'teach' your children something . positive or negative it is important to be aware and have a chat with your child in the moment." Nita Talwar, PCI Certified Parenting Coach, www.peakexperienceparenting.com
I like Nita's use of the teachable moment. If you can chat with your child in the moment, do so. But if there's too much going on, you may have to discuss the teachable moment later. Here are 3 simple ways to discuss it later:
1. Keep a notebook handy to write down what you and your child observed.
a. Discuss the incident at the dinner table.
b. Make the discussion for the teachable moment at a family meeting.
c. Chat about the problem while taking your child to an appointment.
2. Start the discussion by asking your child what what he thought about the incident.
a. Listen without interrupting.
b. Appreciate your child's best thoughts and let him know why you liked them.
c. Avoid criticizing your child's thoughts. Rather ask more questions to clarify what he meant.
3. When watching TV together and you see something you need to discuss, use commercial time.
a. Perhaps there was a violent scene, mute the TV and use number 2's question and method.
b. Maybe a commercial is selling toys to your kids. Discuss the tricks in the commercial to get kids to beg parents to buy it.
c. Using a toy commercial again, you might ask if that toy would really make a kid happy and why.
Chat about the teachable moment in the moment whenever you can. Otherwise, remember it and discuss it later.
What Do You Think?
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Respect ~ A Parenting Interview: How Would Parents Know Their Kids Respect Them?
Most parents can tell if their kids respect them. They can tell from their children's words, attitudes, and actions. I met with Scott and Andrea, the parents of two daughters. I asked them the questions below.
How Would Parents Know Their Kids Respect Them?
1. Parents wouldn't have to repeat their requests. Kids would do what parents ask the first time.
2. Kids would listen to what parents say without interrupting.
3. Kids wouldn't raise their voices or be sarcastic to their parents.
4. Kids would volunteer to help parents.
5. Kids would perform kind acts at home.
6. Children would ask for what they want with positive statements instead of whining.
7. When entering a room, kids would see what needs to be done and do it without being asked.
How Would Kids Know Parents Respect Them?
1. Parents would speak kindly of their children in front of others. No jokes at kids expense!
2. Parents would avoid making their child feel stupid when she isn't good at something.
3. Parents would ask kids for their opinions.
4. At family meetings parents would ask, 'Is there anything I did this past week you wish I had done differently?'
5. At family meetings parents would have each child give compliments to each member.
6. Parents would form the habit of looking for the good in their kids and telling them.
7. Parents would show kids how to get along from their own example.
After the interview, I marveled at how easily these parents came up with great ideas. Good parenting was important to them. Obviously, they gave parenting a lot of thought and consideration.
What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two more things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Monday, March 14, 2011
Parenting Advice: How To Develop Your Child’s Special Talents
By Gareth Williams
For a parent, nothing is more exciting than recognizing that your child has a special talent. Perhaps you heard your child playing away on the piano and realized that he or she actually has a great ear for music, or maybe your son or daughter wrote a short story that was so creative, it put many published authors to shame.
Whatever the case may be, when you finally realize that your child has a special talent, you’ll need to encourage it to grow as much as possible so that your child can bloom to their full potential.
But what if you don’t know the first thing about helping your child to cultivate and develop their exceptional talent? You don’t have to be a childcare expert in order to encourage your child to reach his or her full potential; just follow these tips and your child will be able to fully realize his or her special talent!
1. Find a mentor in the community with the same talent that your son or daughter is displaying. For example, if your daughter is exceptional at volleyball, find a coach or athlete nearby who will be able to play role model to your child.
Apart from parents, role models have a profound influence on the development of a special talent, and will be able to best encourage your child’s talent or skill to flourish.
2. Depending on your child’s special talent, enroll him or her in a program specifically designed for that talent. For example, if your son is academically gifted, ask his school if there is a designated program for gifted students.
If your school doesn’t have this kind of program, not to worry: there are plenty of learning centers and tutors who are available to academically challenge your child in order to keep his or her mind sharp.
3. Additionally, if your child displays a creative talent, get him or her enrolled in community programs that will help that talent to flourish and grow. There are lots of after-school and community programs which teach art, creative writing, dance, theater, etc. to children for free of charge. Let your child’s creativity roam free in these programs, and you’ll see his or her talent blossom.
7-year old, Rhema Marvanne, is a gospel singer with an amazing voice4. Make sure to get your child’s teacher actively involved in encouraging your child’s special talent. For example, if your son or daughter displays an exceptional ability to write, set aside private time with his or her teacher and ask if special assignments can be created for your child. That way, your child will be able to further hone his or her skills without being enrolled in a gifted program.
5. Create a supportive environment at home where your child can feel free to display his or her talent. For example, if your child is academically gifted, create a quiet study space to encourage maximum productivity; if your child is artistically or athletically inclined, encourage activities after school that will allow him or her to practice their talent.
Your child will feel love and appreciation when you’re 100% supportive of their talent, no matter how messy or noisy it may be!
Above all of these tips, be sure to praise and compliment your child for his or her special ability. For example, if your child paints you a fantastic picture or writes a song, praise his or her creative thinking and imagination.
Praise is essential for producing the kind of confidence that encourages the blossoming of talent – so get ready to encourage your little Picasso or Dickens so that he or she will be able to realize the full extent of his or her special ability!
Nurturing the Winner & Genius in Your Child – With the right approach and communication strategies, you will be amazed to find that any underperforming, unmotivated child can unleash his full potential and transform into a top achiever instantly. Written by Adam Khoo, a best seller author and peak performance trainer, and co author Gray Lee, a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming™ (NLP) trainer and an MBTITM accredited facilitator this book will help you understand why children behave the way they do and transform the way you communicate with your children.Higher Order & Creative Thinking Skills (3 to 7 Year Olds) – Do you want your child to become a creator of new ideas, analyser of information and generator of knowledge? Children who engage in higher levels of thinking are more likely to want to learn, enjoy learning and gain satisfaction from their own independent thinking.Instant Learning® For Amazing Grades – Are you frustrated with your child’s low grades or lack of motivation? Your child’s learning style may not match their school’s written testing style. New discovery about learning styles raises grades and test scores in just 14 days.Rhema Marvanne, 7-year old Gospel singer
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Related posts:
‘My Child Is A Genius’: The Truth About GiftednessConscious Parenting: Nurturing Your Child’s TalentLife Skills Activities For Kids: Teaching Your Child With Toys And GamesConscious Parenting: Does Your Child Have Empowering Beliefs?Parenting The Shy Child: 5 Ways To Help Her Make FriendsRespect ~ Expert Interview about How to Teach Kids to Be Respectful
If kids treated you with disrespect, where would the disrespect have come from? Today we'll hear from Parenting Expert, Kathy Slattengren and founder of www.Priceless Parenting.com . First she'll relate a true story. Next she'll share what she taught her own children.
Jean: Kathy how did you become concerned about respect?
Problem Story about Respect
Kathy: When I was pregnant with Kristie, I taught 1st graders at our church school along with three other women. We struggled the entire year to get the kids to cooperate. Many of the kids wouldn't do the simple things we asked them to do like gathering in a circle so we could play a game. I was very frustrated by their lack of respect for me as a volunteer teacher. And I noticed one thing...the kids who were disrespectful to me were also disrespectful to their parents when their parents came to pick them up.
Jean: How did that affect your own parenting?
I promised myself I would never allow my children to treat their teachers the way I was being treated. And I sincerely wanted to make good on that promise but I wasn't sure how I was going to accomplish it.
Jean: Did your children learn to respect you and their teachers?
Kathy: Absolutely!
Jean: How did you accomplish it?
Kathy: When one of them came to me with a problem, I listened to ensure my child felt understood.
Jean: How did you do that?
5 Solutions for Teaching Respect When Kids Have Problems
Kathy. Here are 5 things I did and I teach other parents to do them too:
1. Reduce distractions by turning the TV off.
2. Use body language that says you care, for example, face your child, and look at your child.
3. Let your child describe the problem.
4. Repeat back what you hear.
5. Do not offer any advice.
Jean. What did your careful listening achieve?
Kathy. It increased my understanding of my child. It showed my child respect. It increased my child's trust and respect for me.
Jean: I bet your kids felt safe and confided in you too.
Kathy: Yes, my kids are teenagers now. We have a very caring relationship.
I left Kathy knowing that her parenting expertise is valuable and wishing every parent could learn from her. If you'd like to contact Kathy, go to http://www.PricelessParenting.com
What about you? What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
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Interview about Respect and Manners ~ How Parents Teach Kids to Be Polite
Do your kids show respect to others? Or are their manners so bad they embarrass you? Let's find out how to teach kids to be polite from today's expert and my friend, Colleen Holbrook, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Child Mental Health Specialist.
"When I think about helping parents raise respectful children I imagine conversations I've had with parents.
Lead by example. Let your children see you talk to people respectfully, especially when you may be annoyed such as when driving or dissatisfied with the food or service with a restaurant staff person. Just remember you are always teaching your children by your example. Here are some manners I consider important:
6 Specific Manners for Teaching Kids Respect and Manners
1. Talk to your children with respect. It's nice for parents to say please, thank you, and excuse me to their kids. It becomes normal and it will be how they talk too.
2. Teach them to open and hold doors for others. This is about being considerate. If your child is first to the door and there are others behind him, teach him to hold it open.
3. Teach them to give their seat up for the elderly or pregnant women at a bus stop or anywhere where there is a bench or seating.
4. Don't allow your kids to push themselves into crowds in public functions. Teach them to wait their turn and to say, "Excuse me," whenever they bump into someone.
6. Teach them to make eye contact, smile, and say, "hello and good bye.” Depending on the child's age and personality it may be a victory just to get the hello out. That's okay. Again, you lead by example and they will be more comfortable when they need to use this.
When you teach your children manners, expect them to use them. Manners don't just happen. They take practice and follow through.
3 Practical Ways for Teaching Kids to Be Respectful and Polite:
1. Make time to discuss the importance of manners. Read bedtime books with themes around taking turns, asking instead of talking, and other important skills little kids need to learn. Make it fun.
2. Ask your children to make up their own examples of when they or someone else used or didn't use their manners. They can draw pictures and make up a story if they like.
3. If kids act disrespectfully, respond instantly. Never allow this bad habit to creep into your relationships with your kids. If someone gets really upset and makes this mistake, there needs to be acknowledgement, an apology, a consequence and forgiveness to move on, but not before the others steps.
Too often parents want to avoid conflict and will "ignore" a disrespectful comment or snip from a child or teen. Let them know in no uncertain terms what is acceptable and what is not. Being rude to a parent is most certainly not.
Sometimes when siblings have ongoing battles that seem to keep repeating themselves, I will have them role-play what happens typically and then do it another way that includes manners. This is especially helpful around asking instead of grabbing.
Some families get so busy that they rarely have time to come together. A weekly family meeting where everyone is expected to attend can remedy the break down in communication that often results when family members get too busy.
Much has been written about family meetings, but to put it simply it's an opportunity to talk about how all family member are doing. It's a time to reinforce the family rules and expectations. I often hear of one sibling getting mad at another for getting into their things. Addressing this at a family meeting would mean the issue could be solved instead of being ignored and doomed to repeat itself thus creating more family conflict.
Family Meetings can be as casual or as formal as the family wants. It's an excellent way to build cohesiveness among the members. ~ Colleen Holbrook, LICSW, CMHS http://www.colleenholbrook.com
What about you? What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
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Science Education: How To Make Science Fun For Your Kids
By Donna Vail
“Science is simply common sense at its best that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.” ~ Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-95) English biologist.
Our modern world has become completely dependent upon the advances in technology. As parents who have taken self-responsibility for our children’s education, we must be dedicated to providing the proper educational pathways to the sciences arming them with the skills and knowledge that will help sustain them in an ever advancing world. The key ingredients: mathematics, advanced mathematics and the sciences.
Because science and engineering are based in mathematics doesn’t mean you neglect the sciences until upper mathematics is completed. Just be sure that the student develops the ability to learn through observation.
Note: Observation and experience alone are not a substitute for exhaustive lessons in science. Because a child plays with magnets or works with a pulley does not give him full comprehension of that field. That can only come once he has learned the math.
The good news is that since he has had exposure to many different fields of science through observation and hands on experience, when he does learn the mathematics it will become truth.
“We see only what we know.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, dramatist
Science will not be an academic subject until introductory calculus has been completed and until that time it can be considered an extracurricular subject. I in no way suggest that this be neglected but rather run with it and immerse yourselves in it. Science is life and the best way is to follow the child’s natural interests, explore and offer many opportunities of discovery.
Here are some resources to make your science learning more fun:
1. Get out in nature on a regular basis.
Let the kids run and play outside. When you’re outside with them be sure to notice specific birds, their habits and uniqueness. Notice different things on the ground, what stage plants are in during different seasons and don’t be afraid to get dirty.
Let them catch bugs and observe them, watch animals, draw pictures of what they see, or take photographs. Do this in your backyard, front yard and neighborhood.
Take a trip to the neighborhood park or to your state park. Just go out in nature and observe your world as it expands around you. As your children see you appreciate nature, they will mirror you and develop their own affinity with science and nature.
Let your kids develop an affinity with science and nature2. Build your own science library or support your local library with frequent visits with the kids.
Checking out books is a fun activity for all. Choose books that have the most detailed and descriptive content as well as plenty of color pictures and diagrams. Find books by experts of who have a real passion for their field of study. Be sure to include field guides on all subjects. We often refer to our library of field guides on birds, reptiles, wildflowers and astronomy.
A few of our most favored nature study books include:
• Handbook of Nature Study by Anna Botsford Comstock
• Wild Days: Creating Discovery Journals by Karen Skidmore Rackliffe, and
• Keeping a Nature Journal: Discover a Whole New World of Seeing the World Around You by Clare Walker Leslie and Charles E. Roth.
There are more books listed in the AIE Self-Educators Study Book.
3. Supplies and resources can be found at many educational stores locally and online.
Here’s our most favorite: Acorn Naturalists. Request a free catalog and this will give you an endless resource for books, tools, and everything you could possibly need to study the world around you.
4. As an online science resource for information, I recommend: www.thescientifichomeschool.com
You will find a wealth of information, resources, books to read and support your child’s learning. I’m not going to reinvent the wheel on this one, you’ll see me there too. They’ve got fabulous information and even videos so your children can see science in action. You might even be interested in becoming a citizen scientist.
5. Have fun!
Parents, be sure to enjoy the learning right beside your children by getting in on the exploring and making time to read and discover new things together. Rekindle your love for learning and share in the enthusiasm. There is so much to learn and experience, so love more and live more, then you will learn more.
” I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.” ~ Albert Einstein
Think peace, live love.
Making Science Fun For Kids
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Related posts:
Education In India: Is Homeschooling Your Child An Option?Preschool Learning: The Importance Of Elementary EducationActivities For Kids: How To Help Your Child Find A HobbyThe Benefits Of Boredom: Celebrating Unstructured, Free PlayChild Brain Development And The Science Of Early LearningSunday, March 13, 2011
What Do Moms & Daughters Want from Each Other Anyway?
What do moms and daughters want from each other anyway? This post is from my colleague, Annie Fox, M ed. You'll find wonderful fill in the blanks for moms and daughters to share. This information will help you build your parenting skills and character too.
Love comes from understanding
I recently led a very special Mom/Daughter workshop. Sixty moms showed up each with a middle or high school daughter in tow. My goal for our 90 minutes together was two-fold:
1) Offer pragmatic calming down strategies which I knew would come in handy next time Mom & Daughter find themselves in one of those “I can’t believe we’re fighting about this again!!!” fights.
2) Provide Moms and Daughters with opportunities to understand and appreciate the unique challenges facing the other generation.
I introduced the Calming Strategies:
I’m going to teach you how to do re-centering breathing. So next time you feel off-balance (and believe me there’s always a next time), you can get yourself back to the place where you do your best thinking. Give me a couple of minutes of your time and you’ll have a tool you can use whenever you’re about to ‘lose it.’ It’s very easy to breathe. The real challenge is to remember to breathe when you need to. And that would be any time you and your daughter or you and your mom get locked in a DESTRUCTIVE WASTE OF TIME yelling match – which covers pretty much all yelling matches.
Here’s how to breathe. Go for it!
As for the Opportunities to Understand one another, those came in the form of 20 posted questions lining both sides of the room. These first six were for Moms and Daughters:
1. I’m very proud of my daughter/my mom when______
Most common Mom answers: Shows backbone. Achieves a goal she’s worked for. Helps others.
Most common Daughter answers: Wears cute clothes. Does what she loves. Trusts me & relaxes.
2. I wish my daughter/my mom would _______ more.
Most common Mom answers: Help (do chores) without being asked. Open up and talk to me.
Most common Daughter answers: Trust me. Understand me. Listen to me.
3. I’d like to apologize to my daughter/my mom for______
Most common Mom answers: Yelling and losing patience. Being critical. Not listening.
Most common Daughter answers: Being rude/disrespectful/bitchy. Taking things out on her.
4. Sometimes I’m embarrassed when my daughter/my mom ______
Most common Mom answers: Is rude to me in front of others. Dresses like she does. Gets upset over nothing.
Most common Daughter answers: Dances/sings/laughs/talks too much. Gets too ‘involved’ w/my problems. Tries to act cool around my friends.
5. I feel especially close to my daughter/my mom when______
Most common Mom answers: She confides in me. We hang out together.
Most common Daughter answers: We do stuff together (shop, watch movies, etc.), We talk, We hang out.
6. Most of our conflicts are about______
Most common Mom answers: Chores/helping out. Homework/time management. Siblings.
Most common Daughter answers: Attitude. Grades. Clothes. Social stuff (Curfew, Parties, Texting)
Then there were four Moms Only questions:
7. I could do a better job as a mom if I______
Most common Mom answers: Calmed down. Slowed down. Just relaxed. Had more patience. Had fewer tasks to do.
8. The best advice I could give my daughter is______
Most common Mom answers: Respect yourself. Trust yourself. Do what makes you happy.
9. The hardest part about being a mom is _____
Most common Mom answers: Being patient. Feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing.
10. Sometimes I _____ (Same thing I hated as a kid!) I’m trying to change this behavior.
Most common Mom answers: Get mad about the messy room. Say things I should know are embarrassing to my daughter. Want my daughter to be someone different (from who she is)
And here are the four Daughters Only questions:
7. I would be easier to live with if I______
Most common Daughter answers: Wasn’t so emotional/stressed/bitchy. Listen more. Argued Less. Cleaned up after myself.
8. When something is bothering me I’d like my mom to______
Most common Daughters answers: Leave me alone. Be nice.
9. When we argue I sometime_____ (even if I know it’ll increase tension). I’m trying to change that behavior.
Most common Daughter answers: Yell. Say mean things.
10. If I’m ever a mom, I swear I will_______
Most common Daughter answers: Have an open relationship with her. Be cool if my child wants to go out. Listen.
______________
As you read the questions and mentally answer them you’ll probably wonder how your daughter would respond. Maybe you could use them as a way to let each other in on how each of you feels about your relationship. I invite you to take these questions and your answers as tool for identifying what works in your relationship with your daughter. Celebrate those positive things and continue making time for them. On the flip side, use what you both learn here and work with your daughter to change the aspects of your relationship that could use improvement.
Oh, and one more thing… don’t forget to breathe.
Annie Fox, M.Ed. is an award winning author, educator, and online adviser for parents and teens at http://anniefox.com Her books include: The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating ; Too Stressed to Think?; and the new Middle School Confidential™ series.
She also hosts the popular podcast series “Family Confidential: Secrets of Successful Parenting” http://familyconfidential.com
Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately send you 10 Beautifully Crafted Love Notes for Your Kids in a separate email.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Respect ~ How Library Books Can Help Parents Value Kids
How can library books teach parents to value kids? I asked my librarian friend, Terri. First, she started with library books and disrespect. Perhaps you can guess what she said.
How Parents Disrespect Kids with Library Books:
T - When parents ask me to recommend difficult books that will boost their kids' grades, I feel uncomfortable.
J. - What do you mean?
T. - Too many parents are over-concerned about school grades.
J. - What's wrong with that?
T. - These parents are missing the point. Parents ought to be teaching their kids to love reading not the opposite.
How Parents Respect Kids with Library Books:
T. - When children are young, they ought to sit on their parents' laps and read fun books. Why? Children feel loved by parents when sitting close to them. They attach the loving attention to fun stories. This is the best way to get kids to love books.
J. - What if the kids are too old for laps?
T. - Then read cool books with them at bedtime. Parents can add wonderful vocal expression or even share reading every other page with their kids.
J. - As a school librarian, how do you know if parents respect their kids?
T. - Parents ask for easier books that kids love to read.
J. - As a former teacher, I know what you mean, Terri. I would tell parents to help their kids pick out entertaining books that are easy to read at home. "These books are for fun and enjoyment because you want your children to love reading."
T. - That's right, Jean. I also advise parents to allow young and older kids to read picture books. Many picture books have beautiful illustrations that tell wonderful stories. They're great for the imagination too. Kids can make up their own stories from the pictures.
Conclusion ~ How Library Books Can Help Parents to Value Kids
I left Terri thinking, 'When parents pick difficult books to boost their child's school grades, kids could think reading isn't worth the strugge. Parents could be teaching their children to dislike reading. How could that possibly boost school grades?'
Of course, school teachers must encourage kids to increase their reading abilities. Teachers are trained. They use fun techniques, group levels for kids, and special reading books.
At home the story is different. Library books are for pleasure reading. What a fun way for parents to value their kids!
What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two more things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Respect Is Strong When Parents Lead ~ An Interview
Is respect strong within your family? I interviewed Mark and Michele Jackson. I've known them a long time and admire their family spirit and the way they raised their two sons. Here are their parenting tips for raising respectful kids.
Respect Is Strong When Parents Take the Lead:
Jean: What do you mean?
Mark and Michelle: Parents are the leaders. Both parents need to agree to the expectations they create for their kids. Some things are never negotiated, like bedtime.
Jean: Why?
Mark and Michele: Because that settles arguments before they begin and, again, parents are the leaders. Parents need to train children when they are young.
Respect Training Must Start When Kids Are Young:
Jean: Do you have some parenting tips for training young children?
Mark and Michele: We have several. They include:
1. Lead by example.
2. Be consistent.
3. Each parent shows the other parent respect.
4. Take kids to church.
5. Say prayers together before each meal.
6. The parent who cooked the meal is thanked by each member.
7. Each family member gets time to share his day.
8. No one interrupts.
9. Everyone listens to the speaker.
10. Avoid comparing one child to another child.
11. Allow kids to choose their own outside activities.
12. Make positive respect statements in the home.
Conclusion for Respect Is Strong When Parents Lead:
I thanked Mark and Michele for their input. I thought to myself, 'so this is how parents who lead well raise respectful kids.'
I marveled how each boy is now a man of character. Thomas has his masters in statistics and has a wide open future. Lewis is working on his masters and hopes to become a playwright. He has already written and produced several plays. I also noticed how these young men treat others respectfully too.
What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Friday, March 11, 2011
Respect ~ Interview with a Tween: How Do Kids Know Their Parents Respect Them?
Kids get a sense of when parents respect them. They know by their parents' words and actions too.
Have you ever wondered what your child might say, if your child was asked, "How do kids know their parents respect them?
I asked 12-year-old Dani. She offered 6 ways a child would know. She also offered 4 ways respected kids would treat others. Read her answers below.
How Do Children Know Their Parents Respect Them?
1. Parents would be kind.
2. They wouldn't yell. They'd speak in a respectful voice.
3. They would take time to understand their kids.
4. They would listen to their kids.
5. They would compliment their kids.
6. They would hug and kiss their kids.
How Would Respected Kids Respect Their Parents and Others?
1. The respected kids would be polite.
2. They'd do nice things for their parents.
3. They'd show other kids they are important too.
4. They'd be respectful to others even if they didn't like them.
Conclusion ~ How Do Kids Know Their Parents Respect Them?
I came away with respect for Dani. As a tween, it was easy to see she had her own thoughts and they were good.
Not all tweens have great parents. It's harder for them to be polite and respectful when they're treated with disrespect. Yet, Dani's list isn't hard for parents to follow. It just takes remembering and practice.
What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two more things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Respect ~ How Parents Can Be the Change They Want in Their Children
Are you ever frustrated with the example of respect you set for your kids? Don't be too hard on yourself but do consider the specific examples, my Linkedin friend and Guardian Ad Litem, Debra Scott suggests:
Respect and Hitting:
"I view healthy role modeling as the foundation of promoting respect in children. Children seem to absorb more of what we do rather than what we say. I cannot tell you how many times I've been at a park, a child hits another child, and the mom runs over and yells, "we don't hit!," as mom is hitting the child. I've used a lot of restraint during those times!
Respect and the Phone:
Children typically listen when we don't know they're listening. Such as when we're on the phone and they're innocently building a fort. They hear us say, "oh I'd love to come but I'm sick," or "did you see that ugly outfit that Susan was wearing last night?" and/or we talk to our children about the dangers of smoking, drinking, and/or eating unhealthily.....while we are smoking, or have a glass of wine in our hand, or sitting and chomping down a full box of cookies.
Respect and Truth:
We tell our children not to lie, not to talk about others disrespectfully, and not to do various other things. If we teach them what not to do, what message do they get when they see us doing those things?
Respect and Honesty:
I say practice what you preach. No, I'm not recommending perfection. Another way to teach children about the important things in life is by being accountable, recognizing mistakes that you make, and being able to sincerely apologize. While being a human being, honest, and living a life of what you want to see in your children; they will learn all of the lessons that need to be learned. They will learn them authentically. The rest will be easy.
Respect and Change:
Take a serious look at yourself. Figure out if you are who you'd like your children to become. It's never too late to become a better person. Be the change that you want to see in your children :) "
Debra Scott ~ Divorce Seminar Facilitator at Divorce Lifeline and Adoption Counselor/Caseworker at Adoption Advocates International
What about you? What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Respect ~ Find Out The Number One Method Parents Use for Teaching Kids Esteem
If you'd like to know the best way to teach your kids respect, keep reading. I asked parenting experts, "How do you teach kids respect?" Below you'll find 3 typical answers that build respect and character.
How Do You Teach Kids to Respect Themselves and Others?
1. Sheila Sudlow from http://cheekychumsonline.co.uk advises parents - "Lead by example, if you swear as a parent then your kids will too. You'll create a negative influence. Instead show them kindness, love, and respect. Listen to your child." Sheila is an early years child specialist.
2. Priya Florence Shah from http://www.lovingyourchild.com says, "Model respect. When you respect yourself and let your children see that, they feel free to do the same for themselves."
3. Deirdre Morris, a spiritual pregnancy success coach at http://magicalbeginningsforbaby.com says, "Model self-respect so your child can grow up with a sense of self-worth and permission to honor herself."
Many Experts Chose MODELING As the Number One Method for Teaching Kids Respect and Character
You might say, "That's obvious." Yet consider the number of parents who still swear, yell, or put-down their kids. How will their children learn to respect themselves and others if their parents disrespect them? How will they develop a strong healthy character?
Experts Sheila, Priya, and Deirdre know that parents who MODEL esteem toward their children give them the gift of self-worth. This is the best way to teach kids respect.
What about you? What Do You Think about Teaching Respect?
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Join our Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Monday, March 7, 2011
Teaching Kids Self-Respect ~ 3 Essential Truths Parents Need to Know
"For teaching kids self-respect, what do parents need to know?"
I asked my friend, Sharon Pahlka. Sharon, a social worker and life coach at http://www.LifeIsaGift.com Sharon gave me 3 powerful answers.
"You matter," she answered.
1. What do you mean?
Sharon's spiritual answer was, "God holds each of us in high esteem. We are made in His image. Children need to know that for self-respect. It's easier to love and respect yourself when 'Somebody' loves you."
2."What can parents do to make their kids feel loved?"
"Take time for each child. When parents don't take time for their children, it makes it difficult for those kids to feel valued and respected. They don't feel worth their parents' time."
Sharon revealed she grew up in a single parent home where alcohol was involved. She felt alone except for Sister Ruth who let her clean her chalk boards after school. Sharon felt loved and knew she mattered to Sister Ruth. Sharon was 10-years-old. She also spent time sitting alone in Church. She felt loved there too. This became the core of her own self-respect.
3. What are some specific ways parents can help children feel loved and respected?
"Parents would say, 'I love you' often and with meaning. They would sit down with kids and explain things. They'd talk about treating others well because we are all valuable. They'd play games with their kids and laugh a lot."
Sharon believes kids would be less likely to be talked into doing things that are wrong, if they had a healthy self-respect.
One thing Sharon is proud of, she has 8 grandchildren. Her son and his wife adopted them all and have dedicated their lives to raising them in a loving home.
So What Are the 3 Essential Truths Parents Need for Teaching Kids Self-Respect?
1. To make sure their kids know they matter.
2. To give their time to their children.
3. To say "I Iove you," often, play and laugh a lot.
In spite of Sharon's difficult background, she is one of the most positive and funny people I know. She has the special gift for making people feel great. I left Sharon feeling I had been in the presence of a wise, loving, and spirtual person.
What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two more things:
Join our Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Too Many Video Games? Tips To Get Your Kids To Play Outside
Kids are playing more video games than ever before. Whether it’s on a pricey game console or on the computer, kids as young as three years old are playing video games. Sure, some may have educational lessons, but the vast majority are for mere fun and suck away the hours on a summer day. Get your kid outside and moving with these tips to get them away from video games.
1. Go for a nature walk.
Kids seldom know much about nature, outside of the basics they learn in science class. Take your kids to explore the outdoors by taking them on a nature walk. Don’t worry if there’s no national park nearby, you can go down a trail at your local park or in the neighborhood and spot bits of nature as they turn up.
Check out birds and collect neat leaves and flowers along the way. It teaches kids to appreciate and respect nature and gets them in tune with the great outdoors.
2. Share old school games with your kids.
Today’s typical six year old may not know what Red Rover is. It’s too bad since the game is a blast! Share old school games with your kids that will make them want to get outside and start Red Rover games with their friends and neighbors. This is a great game to play at a kid’s birthday party too, since there are usually plenty of kids around.
3. Hit the beach.
Appreciating nature comes with seeing the many parts of it. Showing your kids the beach will expose them to the sun and sand and you can incorporate a few lessons on erosion if the crowd is interested. Of course, if your kids are swimming the day away in the water, that’s fine too. Collect seashells and walk along the shore spotting crabs along the way.
4. Go to the park.
This one seems basic, but once upon a time, the park was where most families spent their weekends. Now we tend to spend the weekends running errands or at the modern day park, the mall (insert shudder here).
Take your kids to the park and let them do what they want. This is a great place to let them run wild because it gives them an opportunity to interact with other kids and play on things they may not have a chance to play with otherwise, like the jungle gym or see-saw.
5. Visit a public pool.
If your kids don’t regularly get an opportunity to swim, taking them to a public pool one or two weekends a month during the summer will shake up their outdoor routine.
Playing in the background can grow tedious, even for the creative bunch who love the outdoors, so get your kids in the pool swimming. Most public pools are free, so pack a lunch and go early and stay late.
6. Go camping.
This one is a little tricky because depending on where you live and whether or not you own a vehicle, it becomes more or less accessible. If you can go camping with your kids, take them!
You’ll appreciate seeing them in new territory (and vice-versa) and it makes for a great bonding experience. Don’t forget to pack the camera, so you can take photos of the family fishing or swimming in the lake.
Let your kids get in tune with the great outdoors7. Play baseball.
Gather up a few kids from around the neighborhood (or invite school friends or cousins) and set up a game of baseball at a local diamond. It’s fun, cheap and many kids will want to play again and again. This one isn’t exclusively for kids either. Teams can be comprised of both adults and kids for a fun dynamic.
8. Start a garden.
This is one surefire way to get kids outside, day after day. Starting a small garden will teach kids responsibility and how to get friendly with nature. Your kids will watch their plant or fruit or vegetable grow and appreciate the process and hands-on activity that requires time in the sun, almost daily.
9. Go for a hike.
It’s similar to a nature walk, but instead of spotting things along the way, you’re more just enjoying the scenery as a whole. Kids can get some fresh air and take a look at what the outdoors, besides their backyard, look like. Hiking is an affordable trip if you live near a park with sizeable trails and small hills that kids can climb to the top of to appreciate the view.
10. Play catch.
No park or major yard is required! Find an empty parking lot and play catch for hours with your kid or a group of kids. Baseball gloves for kids are usually affordable at sporting good stores and can be had for even less during the off-season. Plus, the glove will come in handy when you set up that game of baseball.
11. Take photos of your neighborhood.
You’ll be surprised at how careful a kid is when trusted with a digital camera. We aren’t saying to hand over your $600 DSLR, but letting your kid toy with an affordable digital camera will make them see their neighborhood in a new light.
It’s a great way to teach them about shadows, lighting and proportion. Hand the camera over and let them take photos. Then head home, upload them and pick out the memorable places you’re accustomed to seeing daily.
12. Watch the clouds.
This is a free, simple activity that younger kids will enjoy. On a warm day, head outside with a few snacks and watch the clouds dance by. Point out funny shapes that remind you of things and watch how the sun changes as the clouds make their way. In this setting, kids will usually organically start playing games of tag and running around, so be prepared to stay outside awhile
13. Go stargazing.
This can be at a park or in your own backyard. Set out a blanket and gaze away on a starry night. Use a constellation book to guide you through the stars you’re seeing or download Google Sky for a tour of the sky from your very own backyard. It’s a free activity that will open your kids to the world of astronomy and make them look up at night in a while new way.
14. Shoot some hoops.
Even young kids will enjoy yelling, “Brick!” as their parents attempt to make a basket. This is a fun way for any number of friends or family to get outside and start playing and working up a sweat. Plus, as long as you can see your kids, it’s a game they can go at alone without worrying about anyone getting hurt.
15. Go bird watching.
To do this, you can spot birds at random or take along a book to see if you see any of the birds on your journey. This works best if you’re in a park or wooded area where birds tend to gather. Bird watching is a fun family activity that many children take to because it gives them a closer look at nature than checking out plants and flowers.
Video games are tons of fun, but for youngsters, playing time should be limited to a couple of hours a week. If you show your child some fun ideas for getting outside and playing, they’ll be more apt to put down the video game controller and have some fun in the sun.
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Indian Kids And Internet Safety: Not All Fun and Games OnlineViolent Video Games: Should Parents Be Concerned?The Benefits Of Boredom: Celebrating Unstructured, Free PlayLife Skills Activities For Kids: Teaching Your Child With Toys And GamesPositive Discipline Tips: How To Avoid Spanking Your ChildRespect ~ How This Parent Uses Examples to Raise Respectful Children
Using examples to build esteem in kids can be effective. Parenting expert, Clayton Thomas, told me his secrets when I asked him:
How Do You Raise a Respectful Child?
"Respect for me is to set clear expectations and monitor them until they are followed through. On a broader level I give my kids examples to respect like:
1. I treat their mother (my wife) like gold.
2. I keep them involved in my world and show them places where my blogs have been seen.
3. I participate in their school/sporting events.
4. I pull my kids aside after showing teachers, coaches, and others respect and ask, 'Why did I do, say or act like that?'
It's amazing how quickly kids learn respect when I model and teach it. My secret is to treat others the way I want to be treated." - Clayton Thomas of www.tantrumstroublesandtreasures.blogspot.com
Conclusion ~ Using Examples to Raise Respectful Children
I like how Mr Thomas shows respect by example. He treats his wife like gold. He brings his kids into his world with his blogs. He enters their world by participating in their school and sporting events. He shows them how to respect teachers, coaches, and others. In short, he models respect with the Golden Rule. In his family everybody wins.
One more thing, I applaud him for monitoring his expectations until they are followed through. For many parents this is easy to forget and causes lots of parenting problems.
What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two more things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Respect ~ Parents, Here's Your Prescription for Building a Strong Family
If your kids don't respect you, something's wrong with you're prescription for parenting.
In an interview with child counseling expert, Colleen Holbrook, I asked, "What's your prescription for building a strong respectful family?
Colleen: I ask parents, "What kind of a family do you want?"
Jean: What do you mean?
Colleen: Each family is a little different. Parents do better when they think clearly about the kind of family they want.
Jean: What does this have to do respect?
Colleen: Everything. Families, like houses, need strong foundations. The foundation for a strong family include rules, expectations, consequences, follow through, and affection. Parents need to think about these concepts when deciding the kind of family they want.
Jean: What happens when familes don't have strong foundations?
Colleen: They produce signs of weakness, like the cracks in homes built on sand. In these homes you find, power struggles, rules not kept, and anxious kids.
I remember a raging 4-year-old. His rages controlled his parents. His parents were inconsistent with their rules and expectations.This kid was anxious too. He had too much power and not enough experience. He wasn't ready to be their boss.
Jean: So you're saying, when kids have too much power they feel anxious.
Colleen: Yes, because they know their parents sometimes say "No" and sometimes say "Yes" about the same rule. These kids keep pushing, raging, and wondering if their parents will follow through. Kids always challenge when parents are inconsistent.
Jean: Do you have a prescription for building solid families?
Colleen: Yes:
1. Think through the rules and expectations you want.
2. Be consistent in following through with reasonable consequences when they are broken.
3. Be a loving parent.
~ Colleen Holbrook, LICSW, CMHS http://www.colleenholbrook.com
I left Colleen admiring her prescription for good parenting. My experience in working with families mirrors Colleen's advice:
1. Be kind.
2. Be firm.
3. Be consistent.
If you build your family with this prescription, the foundation for your family will be strong. Your children will respect you too.
What about you? What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
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