Children learn to imitate at a very young age. It's how they learn to behave, care for themselves, develop new skills, and communicate with others. From their earliest moments they watch you closely and pattern their own behavior and beliefs after yours. Your examples become permanent images, which will shape their attitudes and actions for the rest of their life.
It's important to be responsible, consistent and loving with your child. This also holds true for the relationship you have with your spouse, your parents, and other family members and friends that are also a part of your child's life. Own up to mistakes when you make them, and communicate open and honestly with all family members.
It's also important to take good care of yourself. When we're focusing on what's best for our child it's easy to neglect our own needs. Your child and your family are counting on you physically and emotionally, so it's imperative that you teach your child by example that taking care of yourself helps you to take care of them and the rest of your family. This shows your child that not only do you love them and the rest of the family, but you love yourself as well. This is an important step in teaching your child about self esteem. This may involve getting a sitter and treating yourself out to dinner and a movie, or doing another favorite activity on your own. This teaches your child that you are not only their parent, but your own person with your interests and needs, and also gives them a chance to show you how well they can do without you with them for a while.
It's also important to nurture your relationship with your spouse. Let your child see you communicate in a positive and healthy manner with one another, and show love and affection for one another so your child can begin to learn early on what a healthy marriage should be like.
You'll soon see your child patterning many of his behaviors after your own. So make sure that what you say and do around your child will help build a strong sense of security and self esteem.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
5 Powerful Parenting Strategies for Developing Respect in Kids
How do you develop respect in kids? If someone gave you 5 powerful strategies, would you use them?
Keef Feeley, a Learning Consultant from Success Feelosophy sent me the following strategies for developing respect in kids. The comments for each strategy are mine.
1. Don’t do too much for your children.
Parents who do for their children, what their children could do for themselves; promote laziness, helplessness, and low self-esteem. Parents need to back off with a good dose of patience because they can do things faster and better than their kids.
We must not give our kids the messages, "Nothing I do is good enough." or "I won't have to do my chores or my homework if I drag my feet."
2. Praise your kid's efforts often.
Kids need to know we respect their efforts. Specific praise using the word 'because' helps them repeat their good behaviors. For example, "I respect how well you concentrated on your homework today because it shows you have a strong mind."
3. Encourage persistence.
When kids try to learn something without giving up, they are persistent. Being persistent helps them respect themselves because persistence leads to success. The good feeling of success encourages persistence in trying other things too.
4. Use discussions to help them reflect on their actions, manage their emotions, understand consequences, and make good decisions.
Use positive discussions on what you noticed they did well. Ask them what they did inside to succeed. This helps them reflect and repeat their good actions.
5. Help them develop an accurate self–assessment of their strengths and weaknesses.
Tell them stories like the "Tortoise and the Hare" to talk about strengths and weaknesses. Point out how everyone is good at something but not everything. Like the tortoise if they keep trying they may not be the best, but they will succeed in the end.
My compliments to Keef Feeley at http://www.successfeelosophy.com for sharing these strategies.
What about you? What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Parenting Daughters: Initiating Puberty Education For Girls
By Kathy Pickus
In the Judy Blume’s book, “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Studies show that children want to hear this information from their parents, even though it might not always appear that they are listening. What are other ways can you help educate your daughter about these transitional steps to womanhood?
With the wealth of information on the internet, it would seem easy to gather a few good websites and just pass the information to your daughter. It is best though if she has you there to help interpret and understand the information.
To make it more personable, share your own memories and experiences from this time in your life. Did you have any embarrassing moments? Where were you when you started your first period? When did you buy your first bra?
Sharing your stories will help your daughter realize that she is not alone in this experience. Asking other female members of your family to share their stories will provide a sense of family togetherness and will give your daughter an idea of “how times have changed”.
A good book on puberty can help initiate that awkward conversationThis is an awkward time for girls. She may be experiencing a growth spurt and outgrowing all her clothes, or having to deal with pimples for the very first time. Offer her positive reinforcement and assurance that this is a normal step in her growing up years and that she is always beautiful to you.
Gathering a group of friends together for a special shopping day or a trip to the drugstore to explore skin care items would be a way to remind your daughter that all her friends are experiencing the same changes.
Remember to keep the lines of communication open and start early. Being open and honest with your daughter when she is in her early years will lay the foundation for the puberty years when she will have lots of questions and concerns.
Try not to have one big talk, instead slip in nuggets of information into normal everyday conversation. And don’t wait for your daughter to initiate the conversation, she may be too embarrassed!
Dishing With Your Daughter – The 7-step recipe to connect with your daughter and guide her toward healthy eating, a strong self-esteem & a positive body image. Girls and women are caught in a cycle that doesn’t allow them the freedom, nourishment and peace. You owe it to yourself – and to your daughter to learn how to feel more at ease and confident in your own body and with food; more aware of the messages she sees and hears and how she internalizes those messages.Healthy Father-Daughter Relationships – The father is the first man a girl loves. Learn how to be the best father you can be with this easy to follow guide that covers nearly everything you need to know about communicating with your daughter, discipline and guidance, academic achievement, drugs and alcohol, dating and sexuality, blended family conflict, dealing with grief and loss, spirituality and major lessons.Speak Teenager – Win back your son or daughter. I wrote this book from a father’s point of view and not from a psychology point of view. My book is straight and to the point in an easy to understand language. This ebook contains everything you need to know in order to make amends with your son or daughter and become their best friend.Creating a Puberty Survival Kit for your Daughter
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Unwanted Teenage Pregnancy: How Parents Can Protect DaughtersParenting Tween Girls: Navigating The Bridge From Childhood To TeenYour Daughter’s First Menstrual Period: How To Tell When It Might Be Coming3 ‘Speak Up’ Tips For Helping Girls Respond to Relational AggressionParenting Daughters: Girl Fighting And Your ChildParenting The Shy Child: 5 Ways To Help Her Make Friends
By Gareth Williams
Most parents like to think of their children as social butterflies – but there are some children who are so overcome with shyness that they’re unable to properly function in social settings.
Take Amy, for example. As a nine-year-old child, she excelled at schoolwork, earning nothing but straight A’s and accolades from her teachers. However, when it came to interacting with her peers and adults, Amy often retreated behind a book, or became so embarrassed at having to answer questions that she would stutter or turn red.
Shyness is often a problem for children who, for some reason or another, find it difficult to interact socially with those around them. Everyone has had bouts of shyness at one point or another; but when it starts interfering with how your child interacts with his or her surroundings then it’s time to make a change.
Want to learn how to help your child cope with shyness? Here are some expert tips that will have your son or daughter overcoming social anxiety in no time!
Parents often forget what it’s like to be young and suffering from shyness, so they’ll often do one of two things – they’ll either talk for their child in order to minimize their suffering, or they’ll put their child in stressful social situations to “shock” them out of shyness.
Don’t make this mistake! Rather, gradually introduce your child to different degrees of social scenarios. Start off with conversation with family then move on until your child is able to hold a conversation with a complete stranger. Don’t accept monosyllable answers as conversation, either!
These days, it seems like cutting computers and video games out of a child’s life is tantamount to cruelty; however, some research suggests that these electronic toys can actually hinder your child’s social development. Limit your child’s online or gaming time and then encourage them to play with friends or siblings.
Often, shyness is escalated when your child expects certain reactions from social situations; for example, your child may so fear embarrassing himself or herself while answering a question in the classroom that he or she won’t raise a hand at all.
If this sounds familiar to you, pretend to be a teacher and ask your child various questions. Once your child realizes that he or she is unlikely to embarrass himself in front of the classroom, he or she will be more willing to contribute.
Is your child unable to properly function in social settings?It can be hard for your child to find common ground with his or her peers when suffering from shyness – so help your child out a little by arranging play dates with other children who share his or her interests.
If your child enjoys reading, sign him or her up with a junior book club; if he or she enjoys playing sports, get your child to sign up for a team. Conversation will flow more readily when your child is surrounded by like-minded children.
Know a few mothers around the block? Enlist their help by arranging play dates with neighborhood children. Having a few friends around the block will get your child out of the house more and interacting with more children his or her age
As you can see, shyness can be easily overcome with love, support and a bit of discipline. Yet if your child suffers from the kind of shyness that actually prevent him or her from functioning as a normal child, ask your child’s school if they offer any counseling services – it may be that your child suffers from social anxiety disorder, which should be treated by a licensed professional.
Turnaround: Cure Your Child’s Anxiety – A professionally developed audio treatment program that teaches your child how to stop anxious thoughts, calm uncomfortable feelings, and use proven strategies to overcome anxiety. Based on the most effective treatment for child anxiety (CBT), Turnaround uses a story to invite your child to join six other anxious children on an imaginary 10-day camping adventure that teaches them how to break free from their fears. It is professional AND very child friendly.Social .Skills For Kids – Does your child struggle with social interaction – and are you secretly worried, unsure how you can help? Learn the best way to empower your child in overcoming social challenges. Has everything you need to know to help your child improve social skills and win friends for life.Self Esteem For Children Today – Awaken self esteem to greater heights. Is today’s modern lifestyle destroying your child’s self-esteem? Discover how you can boost your child’s self-esteem with immediate results that will amaze you and your child.How can I Help my Shy Child? Dr Andie Explores Shyness in Children
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3 Parenting Skills for Self-Esteem, Self-Discipline, and Social Competence
3 Parenting Skills for Self-Esteem, Self-Discipline, and Social Competence - Character Building from KidsDiscuss.comCharacter Building from KidsDiscuss.comblogged
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Powered by FeedBlitzAdd me to your TypePad People listRecent Posts5 Ways Parents Teach Babies to be RespectfulParenting Tips ~ Teaching Kids about Respect with the Teachable Moments5 Powerful Parenting Strategies for Developing Respect in Kids3 Parenting Skills for Self-Esteem, Self-Discipline, and Social CompetenceRespect ~ Expert Interview about How to Teach Kids to Be RespectfulWhat Do Moms & Daughters Want from Each Other Anyway? Respect ~ Parents, Here's Your Prescription for Building a Strong FamilyRespect ~ How Parents Can Be the Change They Want in Their ChildrenRespect Is Strong When Parents Lead ~ An InterviewInterview about Respect ~ How to Know If Your Teenager Has Self RespectRecent CommentsJean Tracy, MSS on Parenting Tips ~ Teaching Kids about Respect with the Teachable MomentsLife by the Lesson on Parenting Tips ~ Teaching Kids about Respect with the Teachable MomentsJean Tracy, MSS on Motivation ~ Parents Can Motivate Kids by Quieting Their Noisy MindsCloe on Motivation ~ Parents Can Motivate Kids by Quieting Their Noisy MindsJean Tracy, MSS on Interview about Respect ~ How to Know If Your Teenager Has Self RespectWorlds Best Information on Interview about Respect ~ How to Know If Your Teenager Has Self RespectJean Tracy, MSS on Respect ~ How Library Books Can Help Parents Value Kidsallan king on Respect ~ How Library Books Can Help Parents Value KidsJean Tracy, MSS on Respect ~ How Successful Parents Teach Kids about Positive, Personal, PowerChild's Behaviour on Respect ~ How Successful Parents Teach Kids about Positive, Personal, Power Twitter Updatesfollow me on Twitter« Respect ~ Expert Interview about How to Teach Kids to Be Respectful |Main| 5 Powerful Parenting Strategies for Developing Respect in Kids »
Jenice Clarke, a colleague, offers 3 parenting skills for building character in your kids. Read on.
3 Parenting Skills for Self-Esteem, Self-Discipline, and Social Competence:
1. Clear instructions
2. Praise
3. Modeling
These 3 parenting skills help communicate respect, build a sense of self, encourage our children to accept responsibility for their actions and build self-discipline. They also build social competence in my kids.
I am confident that research substantiates my claim that children are better able to develop a healthy sense of self and respect, when they are raised with positive discipline.
Jenice says "My blog post on December 15, 2010, '3 Benefits of Using Positive Discipline shows how to enhance a child’s self-worth. I recommend it for parents who are searching for a simple guaranteed method that gives positive results within 30 days of use."
Jenice Clarke
Raising Children with Positive Discipline
http://www.jeniceclarkepositivediscipline.blogspot.com/
What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately send you 10 Beautifully Crafted Love Notes for Your Kids in a separate email.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
Posted by Jean Tracy at 09:03 AM in Character, Discipline, kids, Parenting, Parenting Skills | PermalinkTechnorati Tags:character, children, Jean Tracy, kids, MSS, Parenting Skills, positivie discipline, respect, self-discipline, self-esteem, social competenceTrackBackTrackBack URL for this entry:
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Interview about Respect ~ How to Know If Your Teenager Has Self Respect
How do you know if your teenager has self respect? I interviewed a teen named Paula. Some of her answers surprised me. Maybe they'll surprise you too.
I asked Paula to give 5 endings to the phrase:
1. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Laughing with each other.
J. What do you mean?
P. Laughing with each other shows respect because it shows the teenager likes herself enough to make friends and have fun together.
2. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Caring for their belongings.
J. How does that show self respect?
P. Some kids lose or trash their things and expect their parents to get them new things, like cell phones, computers, or clothes. A teenager who takes care of their belongings shows they have respect for those things. They also show respect for their parents because they won't be asking for replacements. They show self respect because they are being responsible.
3. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Standing up for themselves when they are bullied.
J. How?
P. Teenagers show self respect when they don't listen to bullies who say bad things about them. These teenagers think enough of themselve to know that the bad things said are not true. They'll turn and walk away because they don't let the mean words get to them.
4. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Not caving into pressure from other teenagers just to be liked.
J. What do you mean.
P. This ties it all together. They care about their bodies and choose not to do bad things to it just because others are doing it.
5. Teenagers Show Self Respect By...
P. Being close with their familes.
J. How does "close with their families" fit in with self respect?
Other teenagers see that your family influences you more because you respect your family. Because you are a member of your family, it shows that you respect yourself too.
Conclusion for Interview on Self Respect with a Teenager:
I appreciated this interview with Paula because she's headed in a good direction. Paula showed the importantce of self respect in liking yourself, laughing with friends, standing up for yourself, not caving into pressure, and being close with your family. She also tied self respect to taking care of her belongings.
Action Step for You to Take with Your Teen, Tween, or Younger Child:
Ask your children to give you 5 endings to "Kids Show Self Respect by..." Then get them to discuss each answer. You may be surprised.
What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
5 Ways Parents Teach Babies to be Respectful
Parenting Expert, Deborah McNelis, teaches infants respect. No, she doesn't tell them to be respectful. She has a different method. Read on to find out.
It is critically important for parents to realize that to raise a respectful child, it must begin in infancy.
The child needs to have a consistent nurturing relationship to develop a secure attachment. Through this the baby learns the give and take of relationships and begins the process of self-regulation. This early loving interaction is the start to healthy social/emotional development and impacts relationships throughout life. Learn more from Deborah Mc Nelis,owner of BrainInsights at http://www.braininsightsonline.com/
Here are 5 ways Jean suggests ~
5 Parenting Tips on How to Teach Respect to Babies
1. Use a loving voice.
2. Talk to your baby a lot. He needs to hear your words for brain development.
3. Sing songs, recite lullabies
4. Play pat-a-cake
5. Read colorful sturdy books with your baby in your arms.
6. Find time to rock your baby to sleep. Enjoy the feeling.
To teach your baby respect you need to treat him with respect. You're the model. It's your arms he wants to rest in. He needs to be attached to you and feel loved and secure. This is the beginning of respect.
What do you think?
Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 10 Beautifully Crafted Love Notes for Your Kids.
With warm wishes,
Jean Tracy, MSS
Two More Things:
Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids
Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
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